How to Achieve your Goals
Keep at It
Q & A
They say that most people have given up their New Year’s resolutions by mid-February. Has that happened to you? Well this is the year that you can change that. This is the year to do it.
"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer". ~Albert Einstein
Most of us have goals for self improvement – like I want to lose weight, make more money, buy another home etc. These are promises to ourselves, but we’re only looking at the big picture in a very general way. For example, if spending more time with the family is the goal, you can see yourself sitting around the fire playing board games with the wife and kids – but in reality you end up staying at home, but you’re doing work on the computer, the kids prefer playing video games and since you’re home, the wife’s taken the opportunity to go shopping. You’re intention was a good one and you even stayed home to prove it, so what happened?
The topic for the month of February is Achieving Your goals.
So why don't we get it the first time??
The biggest obstacle to getting to your goal is the excuses that you give to yourself. Eg. I’m too tired, I’m too busy, I’m not good enough. Whatever excuse you make, if you really want to do something, there are no excuses. You can always find a way to do what you want to do. So this year - no excuses.
Think of Oprah Winfrey here. Apparently when she was a television reporter she was fired because she was “unfit for TV”. What a great excuse to give up and stop trying!! Obviously she took this information as a challenge – just another obstacle to overcome.
We tend to look at the big picture, forgetting that there are many steps that have to be taken to get to your goal. To keep focus, write down your goal as well as the small steps you have to make to get there.. Unless you have a clear picture of how to get to the goal you will never get there. The small steps that lead to the goal keep you in focus.
Always be specific when you clarify your goal. Saying “I want to lose weight” or “I want to be rich.” are too general. The goal of “I want to lose 20 lbs” is specific. Then you must make this even clearer by breaking that down into realistic steps. Eg. what diet plan, gym 3x per week, how many lbs per week, and be realistic about this and don’t forget to write this down. It’s important. Your notes becomes a constant reminder. Leave the paper in a place where you’re sure to see it.
This is the hard part. There will be plenty of distractions to get you off track. If it’s weight loss you’re after, there will be those parties, restaurants and entertaining. If you’ve been saving money conscientiously each week, an unexpected expense may throw you off. Acknowledge that these are only obstacles. It’s all part of life and not a personal failure. Just get back on the track to get to your goal..
Sometimes you ‘just don’t feel like it.’ This is another hurdle to overcome. The best way to get motivated is to go to that paper where you wrote your steps. Ask yourself what your life would be like when you reached that goal. Visualize it. Feel how happy you are. Wouldn’t it be worth staying with it? Of course it would. OK, now do it.
Keep at It
Others may laugh at your efforts, but ignore them. Perhaps they’re trying to prevent you from disappointment, or think they’re being helpful, but they’re not. Stay focused on your goal and keep at it. Apparently, Henry Ford went bankrupt 5 times before he made it big. Obviously, he didn’t care what anyone said – and I’m sure they talked plenty. Let no one and nothing deter you.
You may be your worst enemy. When you stop believing in yourself, you’ll give up. So, don’t be negative. Be optimistic that this time you’ll make it – Think Henry Ford here. After all those bankruptcies, he had to believe in himself because I’m sure no one else did. So keep at it – believe and persevere.
Negativity never helpful
Being positive is the only way
1) Define the goal.
Writing it down helps you stay focused.
2) Break down the deadline into manageable steps
3) Define the obstacles in your path.
List everything that can go wrong and everyone who will in your way.
4) Do some work on it every day.
Do a little, do a lot, but do something
5) List the benefits.
The list is a reminder when you want to quit.
6) Set deadlines
Deadlines should be made for accomplishing the steps, not only for the goal.
7) Don’t beat yourself up if you fall off track.
8) Acknowledge yourself.
Upon accomplishing each stage to the goal, give yourself a little ‘prize'
Having problems with food, drugs, alcohol, gambling etc. and you you'd like personal coaching or recovery coaching to keep you on track. Get help when you need it with
Q & A
I’ve been told that I talk too much. This year I want to be a good listener and learn not to talk so much. How can I be a better listener?
A conversation is not only about talking. It’s about communicating. To communicate with someone else, you have to pay attention to what they’re saying – and that means listening. If you do all the talking, you are not including the other person. Listen. Hear what the person is saying and stay on the same ‘page’. Do not interrupt or be thinking of what you want to say.
Be careful about giving unwarranted advice. And also beware that when someone asks for your advice he/she may simply be venting, or sorting out their thoughts. They may not want your advice at all. Find out. Ask them ‘do you want to hear my opinion on that?’ This is being respectful of the other person. Conversation is a two way street.
Try these techniques and let me know how they work for you.
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