Points to Remember
Healthy Relationship Tips
Q & A
More on healthy relationships
This is the February issue of Powerful Living, from Untwist-Your-Thinking.Com, the monthly newsletter that delivers strategies and self-help tips, guiding you to living a more fulfilling life.
This issue addresses building and keeping worthwhile relationships - which can be a difficult task in the best of times - but no matter how independent we think we are, we don’t live in isolation. We must interact and we need healthy relationships with those around us – our friends, our co-workers, our families and our partners.
But first, before you think of relating with another person you must understand what you need in the relationship as well.
Relationships are not one-sided. They’re give-and-take. Ex. If one person is only giving and the other taking, eventually the giver will feel resentful and hurt. Don’t fool yourself. Even if the giver keeps saying ‘It’s OK”, it’s not. Nobody likes to feel taken for granted, and if someone (as nice as they are) keeps giving without being reciprocated they’ll feel unappreciated.
So whether it’s your kids, family members or a romantic partner, do some soul searching and ask yourself “what do I need in this relationship too?”
Points to remember
Your attitude on life can put things in perspective. Laughter is a great stress reliever.
This is a top priority. Others need to know that you can be trusted and they can count on you. Express your opinions and your feelings. Even if they disagree, you’ll be respected.
C) Take no one for granted.
This tends to happen when people feel comfortable with each other. So if you feel unappreciated, address it. Frustration and anger will only make matters worse.
D) Respect another's viewpoints.
We tend to believe that everyone sees the world the way we do - not necessarily. Sometimes they may see things your way, other times, compromising provides the solution. Don’t force your opinions down another person's throat.
E) Don’t jump to conclusions.
We feel attacked and close down if we're confronted. No matter what the situation is, discuss it at an appropriate time.
F) Don’t judge or criticize.
Judgment and criticism pushes people away. Healthy relationships are uniting.
Healthy Relationship Tips
Focus on what’s being said. If you don’t have time at a particular moment, say so.
Even small children can understand if you explain it on their level: “ WOW!! You’re really excited about that. I want to hear what you have to say, but Mommy’s just walked in with groceries. Keep this story a secret for now, but share it with me at dinner. You promise?” When the time comes, give the child your undivided attention.
If the story is important to them, and they are important to you, listening shows them you care.
2) Accept people as they are.
No one is perfect so it’s easy to be critical. Anger feeds negativity. Sometimes making a written list about their good qualities, allows you a more balanced perspective. No one is entirely good or bad.
3) Be considerate.
Answer e-mails, call back voice-mail. This is a common courtesy in the workplace, but it’s often disregarded with the ones who matter most.
4) Say “ thank you."
Appreciate the small stuff and say so. This can be as simple as picking up a newspaper that someone left on the sofa. If one person always leaves the paper, it becomes the other’s job to pick it up. A positive remark will get you farther than a negative one ex.“It’s about time you picked up the paper for a change.”
5) Be thoughtful,
Birthday’s, anniversary’s etc.. are not to be forgotten, but any time can be acknowledged. Large gifts can be misinterpreted as pressure, ‘guilt money’ or simply embarrassing. A small token any time sends a simple message saying, “I think you’re special.”
Inspirational relationship quote
“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.”--Sam Keen
For more information on healthy relationships
Q & A
OK. So I did what you said. I resolved to change my attitude and lose weight this year. I need more exercise, so although I hate the gym, I decided to change my attitude and joined with a friend for motivation. I intended to go after work three times a week and once on the weekend, but for one reason or another, I haven’t even been able to keep that schedule for more than the first week. By the way, my friend is still going.
You said that you hate the gym, but joined for the exercise. Your intentions were good, but maybe the gym is not for you.
There are many ways to incorporate exercise into your life - more walking, climbing stairs etc. You also have to discover what exercises you like to do. For some, it’s yoga, exercise classes, dance classes, cycling – Start small. Once a week may be the best you can do – but that’s better than nothing.
Develop a schedule that works for your lifestyle. If you’re too busy during the week, go on weekends. As you incorporate exercise into your lifestyle, if you don’t do it, you'll miss it. Now that’s what I call attitude change!!
Keep working at it and it will come.
Got a question, a story or helpful information to pass on? Let me know and with your permission,
you can share it on the Zine
Settling arguments: Don’t sweep your conflicts under the rug. Silence resolves nothing.
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