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No no-nsense tips to avoid holiday meltdowns

Acknowledge it: Many times we don’t even know that we’re stressed. We notice the symptoms – eating too much, drinking, yelling and screaming, becoming forgetful, overtired – all symptoms of stress. Acknowledge that you’re stressed. You’re entitled. Once you’ve acknowledged the cause instead of the symptom, you can take action instead of giving blame.

Perfection Everywhere we look we see ‘picture perfect’ holidays messages – happy loving families around the tree, that perfect turkey dinner. Be realistic. Everyone is different some families are better, and some are worse, but no one has a ‘perfect’ family. Accept what is and let the fantasy of ‘perfect’ go.

Budget. If you’re on a tight budget say so. Decide what you want to spend on gifts and do what you can afford. Let go of the idea that you must ‘pay’ people back by giving expensive gifts. You can also make presents, give to charities on their behalf etc – and if this year has been difficult financially, say so. Don’t go into debt to save your image.

Organize: Making plans diminishes stress. Schedule when you’ll be shopping, cooking, baking and whatever you intend to do. Make lists and cross items off once their done. This is a great holiday stress reliever.

Boundaries: Don’t overload yourself with chores. If you can’t do something, say so. Everyone is stressed at this time of year, so if your boundaries are weak, you’ll comply to their demands. Remember if you can, do it, if not say NO.

Food The month of December is party month – unhealthy snacks, rich food and drink. Some people can’t eat when they’re stressed, others indulge. If you’re like me, you’ll do the latter. But however you handle holiday stress, eat healthy food, don’t overindulge and when you feel good, you’ll handle your tasks with less stress.

At this time of year, we consider everyone else, but we also have to throw ourselves in the mix. If you need exercise, or music to relax your mind, now is not the time forget about it. And if you feel lonely at this time of year, reach out. Volunteer in the community, connect with friends. The internet is an excellent way to reach out and connect with someone as well. But remember, if your sleep is affected, or you’re feeling particularly down right now talk about it

Q & A

Q

I am a problem drinker and when I drink too much I lose my inhibitions, say things that are inappropriate, and recently, I allowed a man to hold me close, and apparently we touched, but I don't remember. My husband has had enough and might leave me. I have made a decision to stop drinking, and have a counseling session booked. But my biggest fear is losing my husband (there are 2 kids involved as well) and I am wondering what I can do to convince him to stay?

No one can convince anyone to stay if they're determined to leave. The only thing you can do is show him that you're committed to make changes and ask him to give you the chance to demonstrate it.

Karry Ann

A

You've already taken action. You've booked counseling sessions for yourself, but you may also benefit from additional support from AA as well. If your husband is willing, the two of you can be helped by couple counseling. Right now your husband is hurt, angry and has lost trust in your behavior.

If you make the necessary changes to overcome your problem drinking, although he is angry now, he may reconsider is decision.

Bev

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I want to take this opportunity to thank you for your comments, contributions and stories. It has been a privilege to connect and get to know many of you.

Over the holidays, I’ll be in NYC celebrating with family and friends and taking a much needed break in the Big Apple -- Note, I said break☺ Nobody rests in NYC – but I love it and can’t wait to go!

Like everyone else, I’m exhausted at this time of year, but I feel excited and exhilarated at the thought of connecting with you in the New Year. How are you doing? Have you any holiday plans? Tell me about your needs and requests for the new year and I'll do my best to help out Here's where to find me Connect with me on Facebook You can also Tweet me Are you on Pinterest? I'm there too
Wishing all of you a safe and peaceful holiday and may 2013 be the best year ever!!

Bev

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