Not A Perfect Ten? Stop beating yourself up now!!Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.~Harriet Braiker
We need to make mistakes so we can grow and learn, and we have to get out of our comfort zone to do it. The topic of this months newsletter: Perfectionism – You can’t be a perfect ten, So Stop beating Yourself Up Now!!
(think of the last time you were on a diet:)
We need to make mistakes so we can grow and learn, and we have to get out of our comfort zone to do it. The topic of this months newsletter: Perfectionism – You can’t be a perfect ten, So Stop beating Yourself Up Now!!
In order to evolve, we must understand that everyone’s idea of perfection is not the same. Ex. if your goal is to
lose weight
When you’re too demanding on yourself, you'll sabotage your efforts. This is typical of
binging for alcohol
and also for
binge eating
1) Accept that you are only human Despite our most humble efforts, we occasionally fall short of meeting our goals. If you don’t think that you’re a perfect ten, you tend to be harder on yourself than anyone. This is particularly true of /children from alcoholic families. 2) See the silver lining in certain situations, it is impossible to see the value of the experience. Every negative experience also has a positive. If you want success, you have to stop beating yourself up. 3) Surround yourself with supportive people The road to self-discovery can be difficult. Recruit your most positive friends and family members to rally behind you while you go through the process of accepting your imperfections. Positive people provide you the motivation that you need to remain strong and stop chastising yourself. 4) Change is an ongoing process It takes 30 days for something to become a habit. That’s why it’s important to remember that change isn’t going to happen overnight. 5) Be patient with yourself and remember that “happiness is a journey not a destination.” 6) Model the positive thoughts and behaviors of people that you admire Reading a book or listening to an inspirational podcast can help you accept your faults in a productive way. Let the individuals behind this material to become your role models. Read their stories and remember that they are just like you. They also have their shortcomings. Understanding why we feel we must be perfect (if you’re codependent for example can help you appreciate certain situations more. Although, it won’t be easy to turn off the part of your brain that wants to criticize the way you do things, it is necessary if you want to let go the idea that you ‘should’ be a perfect ten. Ultimately you’ll become a better person. Q&A What would you would advise, if a wife is clearly
an alcoholic and the husband is a social drinker who drinks at home. The husband clearly wants his wife to give up drinking because of the damage it’s causing to her as well as their relationship. Many thanks.... Robert
A If the wife is an alcoholic but is in denial of her addiction, it isn't helpful if the husband drinks at home. When an alcoholic is in denial, he/she believes that their problem is 'not that bad,' and when the husband drinks (drunk or not) it confirms it. To break denial, there should be no alcohol in the house. This doesn't mean that the wife won't go out and get it. It just makes it harder for her, and her need to drink becomes more apparent. Another way to point out that her drinking has negative effects, is that the partner should
not enable her The alcoholic has to suffer the consequences of their behavior. This will lead to arguments and abuse but the partner must stand firm, demanding that the other must stop drinking and get help. Couple counseling can also be suggested and drinking would be discussed because it’s damaging the relationship. Failing all this, Al-Anon can help partners and family members learn to deal with what living with an alcoholic entails, as well as provide support in the difficult times. I hope this information is helpful, Bev
We've added some YouTube videos. These videos hit the topic and say it the way it is. Check them out Self Hypnosis Because stress leads to all kinds of addictive behavior, everyone benefits when you take the edge off. So check them out. Relax and enjoy peace of mind!!
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