Overeater, Shoplifter, Learning Self-love

by Anonymous
(Calgary, Alberta, Canada)

This is refreshing :) I am human!

I have similar, and no unordinary problematic traits! I am a horrible binge eater, stuffing my body full day after day --saying I need to finish off these helpings so they're not around tomorrow.

In 2 years, I have gained nearly 30 pounds. I’m 22. Shoplifting -- always. Will clean a home all day -- organize endlessly, but have huge emotions about getting a job.

I’ve been unemployed for 5 months. I lived a good couple years of enlightenment, became pure joy and strength, then I began to smoke again, eating more and more and more, purging, eating, purging.

Quit smoking, now. I want to create myself. It’s not too late. I’m making every moment count. -- stopping myself at meals with a smile., putting the product back, because i don’t need it, walking out of my home confidently, to get myself a job, to support my needs, to build an empire.

Feeling beautiful! Working out early, taking care of my animals, my family, creating new friends, new communication patterns, new movements, new skills. New skills in eating, in etiquette, in movement, in art. --always increasing skills, always improving. renovations, creation, art.

How do i operate now? What is reality? How can I change? What’s next? Build steps, stepping stones, self-love, control, respect.

I want to be powerful. I want to be full potential. I want to be free. Something takes over clarity, over-clouds goals, passions, dreams and replaces with an instinctual, intense desire to comfort myself and distract myself with food. Its become an addiction. One that can so easily be corrected, with the right knowledge, and a damn good plan.

I want to build that plan. I’m going to be better. I’m going to conquer these illnesses and become who I am truly supposed to be -- beautifully alive in a human suit, operating at full potential. I’m learning to love again -- love myself.