Tips To Measure A Healthy Relationship

"I love you, not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you" Roy Croft













Q &A

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Were you brought up in a dysfunctional family or are you a child of an alcoholic/addict When you’re familiar with dysfunctional relationships, you have no experience with what a healthy relationship is and you can only imagine it.

A physically abusive relationship is evident. But what if there’s emotional or psychological abuse? This is harder to detect.

So, if you have no experience with healthy relationships, how do you know if you’re in one?

That’s the topic of the April newsletter: “ A Healthy Relationship -- How Do You Know?”

Safety: You should feel safe with your partner. Can you make mistakes without being told that ‘you’re stupid’ or judged? Can you be yourself without always being ‘on your best behavior’? You should always feel accepted and loved?

Friendship: It’s important that you are compatible with your partner. Is your partner a friend and an equal?

Fights: Arguments are normal, physical fights are not. Can you argue without name calling or dragging up the past. Do you fight fairly? Can you come to a compromise or does one of you always have to give in.

Respect: Ask yourself if you feel respected and valued in the relationship. Are you involved in opinions or made to feel that your opinions don’t matter?

Commitment: Are both of you committed to making the relationship work? Is the commitment one-sided? Do you feel that if you don’t do or say the ‘right thing’ the relationship will be in jeopardy? If you do, you’re being held hostage.

Partnership: A partnership requires give and take. There should be co-operation in a healthy relationship One person should not carry the entire load?

Abandonment: Are you threatened with abandonment, if you don’t do or say what the other wants? Sometimes abandonment comes with punishment – not picking up the phone, not talking for days, that type of thing….this is hurtful, abusive behavior.

Comparison: It is also hurtful to compare your partner with another person. You are indirectly telling your partner that he/she is not as good. This can be considered /abusive.

Apology: When a mistake is made, is there an apology? Are you forgiven or are will it resurface at a later date?

Love: Most of the time, you should be fond of each other. Ask yourself if this is basically a love match, or your merely tolerating each other.


1) Feel safe in the relationship

2) Be friends, not

codependents 3) Never fight physically – and no verbal abuse

4) Respect each other’s strengths and weaknesses

5) Both should be committed to making the relationship work

6) Cooperate with each other and share the load

7) Never punish with threats

8) Never compare your partner to others

9) Don’t hold grudges.

10) Appreciate each other.

If you find that your relationship is abusive or does not measure up as healthy, don’t be alarmed. Awareness is the first step to making changes

If you’ve been drawn to an affair, or are having an emotional affair there’s something missing in your relationship.

Do whatever it takes to get the help you need, before you decide to move on.

The goal of a healthy relationship, is not based on ‘neediness and dependency’ each of you can enhance the others life.
Q &A


Is tequila a stimulant or depressant? The general consensus seems to be that it is a depressant, like alcohol. But, I’m told that it's the only alcohol that is a stimulant.

After looking online I'm getting mixed messages. I'm not convinced that it's a stimulant at all but I'd like to know for sure. Thanks for your help. A

I go with the theory that all alcohol is a depressant -- and tequila is no exception.

For some people, however, taken is small amounts, tequila can be stimulating.

Nevertheless, tequila is an alcoholic drink and would be classified as a depressant.

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Finally I got this interactive stuff done!! You can now ask me a question and have others benefit as well – and even comment on it. It's easy. Just type and post

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Sex addiction – Tiger Woods went to rehab for it. Is sex addiction really an addiction?

If you or someone you know needs a consultation or has had a slip, coaching will help you.

For all other impulse control behaviors ex. compulsive eating, sex, computer addiction etc. Coaching is also an effective way to help you change. Try a free 30 minute session Here's what you need to know

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