Learning to let go of the past, can be challenging at best, but although it's natural to regret what we or others have done to us, it's not healthy to dwell on it.
Focusing our energy on the future allows us to make better, more informed decisions and also gives us something to look forward to. Although it is easier said than done, getting over past hurts, bad choices and failed relationships, is something we have to do to for emotional growth.
With that said, here are 5 Tips to help you learn to let go of the past:
Accept the fact that we all have faults and forgive yourself for your bad decisions No one is perfect. Even if you come from an alcoholic family or beat yourself up because you beat yourself up because you
keep going back to a dysfunctional relationship
-- Everyone has their issues. The sooner you come to terms with this notion, the better. If your past continues to haunt you, do whatever it takes to have the courage to stand up to your past and accept it. You'll never be able to live a full, happy life in the present if your mind is in the past.
Believe in the future Having something to look forward to can make all the difference because it allows you to put the past in perspective. Set goals and take small steps daily to reach them. Before you know it, you’ll feel better, but you can’t forget the past. You simply don’t have to allow it to disturb you, because you’ll be concentrating on the future.
Share your experience with others Speak about what you've gone through. Don’t be about it. Be open and honest about
your family and how you deal with the pressure
Explain how much it hurts to talk about it. Encourage others to share their stories with you so that you can establish a common ground. Allow others to rally around you and provide you with the support that you need to heal – but no self-pity.
Learn to Relax Clear your mind and think of what you can do to benefit from being a survivor. Reflect on moving forward and on the better things to come.
Keep an anger journal Journaling is very therapeutic. You can spill your guts in a journal without fear of retaliation for making another person angry. However, if you choose to keep a written record of your feelings, make sure you can handle what you’ve written. When you’re finished, tear up what you’ve written. The goal is not to reread your journal. It’s strictly to get your thoughts out of your head and let them go so you can move on.
Our past shapes who we are today. You do not have to identify with the person that you were back then, and neither do you have to ‘understand’ others who have hurt you.
Accept what’s gone on in your life, keep your head up and your heart open. Keep learning how to let go past anger and pain. This not only will improve the quality of your life today, but it’s guaranteed to provide you with a brighter tomorrow.
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Stress helps you focus on the big picture
Stress gives us permission to lighten our loads and pay attention to the things that really matter -- but that’s only if you use it effectively.
Stress makes it easier for us to understand why our current situations have come to be. It encourages you to slow down and really focus your energy on solving problems. Without stress, few of us would be able to know what we want and don't want out of life. We would be complacent about how we go about our business and that's not good for anyone. Stress can give us the courage to try something different.
Although stress is often thought to be detrimental, it gives us the go ahead to really take inventory of our lives. In fact, it helps us to ask the eternal question, "Why do I feel the way that I do?" Without stress, we would still go full throttle and forget about the things that matter. Believe it or not, the signs of stress can work for you. It tells you to calm down and relax. When you
learn to relax
you will handle your life with confidence, on a daily basis.
Q & A
My 19 yr old son has depression. He started taking Zoloft and sees a therapist. He has a problem with alcohol and
binge drinks heavily every weekend
He admits he has a problem but isn’t sure he wants to quit, because it relaxes him. He also had a very serious bullying problem when he was younger.
Last weekend he drank so much he came home full of rage, broke windows and beat a man badly. I was shocked! He’s very aggressive towards his friends as well as others.
He will see his doctor in a month and that is a long time to wait. He wants to be without alcohol and I think he will do it temporarily, until he forgets that horrible weekend. What can I do and what he should do?
The manufacturer of Zoloft does not recommend drinking while on the medication. Zoloft and alcohol act upon similar chemicals in the brain, which means that Zoloft could intensify the effects of the alcohol. “If a person chooses to drink alcohol while taking this medication, he or she should only consume light to moderate amounts of alcohol. If you do drink alcohol, do not drink alcoholic beverages at the same time you take your dose of Zoloft."
I suggest that you go with your son to his doctor's appointment. He may not be telling the doctor the full extent of his drinking and you should have this on record. In the mean time, suggest that he goes to AA get a sponsor and
work the 12 steps
Four 15-minute deep relaxation sessions for that mid-day 'power nap'.
and if you've ever wanted to learn self hypnosis, or learn to calm yourself when you're under stress,
take a look at these downloads
Because stress leads to all kinds of addictive behavior, everyone benefits when you take the edge off. Relax and enjoy peace of mind!!
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Does the past creep into your thoughts? The topic for June: How to let go of the past.