Social Networking addiction

“Breathe. Know that the Internet has no eraser.” (Liz Strauss)

Intro

Balance

Denial

Isolation

Break-ups

Procrastination

Stress

Time

Disconnect

Shut Down

Tips

Q &A

Next Month: Technology should simplify our lives, but when one thing simplifies, something else comes up to create other problems --take Social Networking for example. The concept is great. We can connect with new and long lost friends and family, and there’s no better way of staying in touch but then we over do it.

According to Time Magazine, students on Facebook have a lower grade point average (GPA) than those in their class who aren’t on it. Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Linked-In, Digg, the list of networking sites goes on and on. And with millions of us texting and checking -- you guessed it -- social networking sites are causing computer addiction.

That’s the topic for the month of September. Social Networking – the latest Addiction.

Balance: Because we are bombarded with messages, internet addicts are on the web for 40+ hours a week. Whether it’s drugs, food, work, sex, gambling, or social networking, compulsive behavior can develop -- and we can get hooked on just about anything – These networking should be used in moderation.

Denial: “You crazy? I’m not addicted.” Before you do anything about a problem, first you must see that there is one. So if you know a computer addict don’t protect them by enabling them

and giving excuses about how busy they are. And if you’re the one who is being nagged to stop – listen. If more than one person tells you to get off the phone or computer, perhaps they are right.

Isolation: If you’re ignoring your friends and family because you’re networking on line. Shut the phone, close the cell and join them. It sounds so simple, but all addicts like to be in their own world.

Break-ups: Beware of stalking friends and former lovers online. This can not only become addictive, but can cause disaster in your personal life. Many relationships have broken up as a result of networking sites.

Procrastination: It’s easy to get involved on the networking sites and ignore your obligations in the real world. Like all other addictions, your work and your personal life will be affected.

Stress: Here's a test for you. Are you stressed if you can’t go online and check your sites? Do you become anxious? Some people become depressed. This is a sure sign of an obsessive behavior.

Prevention: The more social networking sites you’re on the more likely you’ll be checking them – and if you have an addictive personality

you’re particularly vulnerable.

Time: Set a time during the day to access your e-mail. You can check the sites when you take a break or have little to do.

Disconnect: The more sites you’re on, the more temptation you’ll have to spend time on them. So keep 2 or 3 sites and disconnect from the rest.

Shut Down: When you’re with people focus on what’s going on. If you’re bored or have difficulty talking to others, it’s easy to escape by going online. Don’t do it. You’re not only irritating others, you’re also being rude.

If you think you or someone you know has a computer addiction like gaming etc. here are some tips to stop:

Tips

1) Close browser windows when you’re finished. It prevents distraction.

2) Communicate face-to-face or make phone calls.

3) Track your computer time and log out when your time is up.

4) When you’re not using the computer, shut it down.

5) To avoid distraction, prioritize what has to be done and do it.

6) Set priorities. It’s not important to continuously update your profile etc .

7) Remove cell phone apps for social networking site to prevent temptation

8) Limit membership to no more than 2 or 3 sites.

9) Get involved with real people – exercise. Join clubs, meetings, sports etc

10) No cell in restaurants or when you’re with friends. When you're not paying attention to what's going on, it’s not only irritating, it’s also rude.

Q & A

Q

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we have a 3 year old son. For the past year my boyfriend has been getting drunk 4 or 5 times a week and then he’s nasty to us and sometimes doesn’t even come home.

He lies,and spends all his money on drink and blames me for everything. Finally, I left him. I’m exhausted and can’t take anymore. I work and pay for everything and all he wants to do is spend his money on booze. My problem is that he used to harm himself after binging and I’m afraid he’ll do this again if I’m not around.

Should I go back? Have I done the right thing to leave him?

A

Your boyfriend is mean to you, doesn't come home, is irritable doesn't contribute financially to the family and only wants to drink. In reality, you are living in an abusive relationship and for the sake of your son and your sanity, you did the right thing by leaving. It may even be a wake-up call for him to get help.

If you feel guilty about your decision, and fear that he'll harm himself Al-anon meetings can be helpful to stay strong. The members provide a good support system when you're under pressure. You can hope he'll be OK, but you can't be responsible for his behavior

Be assured that you've done the right thing. Leaving him was not easy, but it allows you the peace of mind you need to get your life on track and move on.

Bev

Just because you came from a dysfunctional family doesn't mean you have to pay for it for the rest of your life.

There are so many urban legends floating around -- "a fat child becomes a fat adult", "I come from a family of alcoholics, of course I get drunk". Great excuses, but if you're not happy with you're behavior, your not doomed. When you change your outlook you learn new behaviors, which change your life. You can also be helped by coaching

Have a question? Just ask and post. Your questions help others and you can comment and add suggestions as well.

What’s New On The Site

I've received many questions on relationships and being codependent is an issue. For your benefit, new self-tests for codependency has been posted. Just because you prefer to be attached, doesn't mean you're codependent Try a codependency test for yourself.

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Next Month

Are you controlling? Develop a healthy attitude for yourself and others will appreciate it too.

Your comments and stories are welcome. Stay in touch.

Bev

If you or someone you know needs help changing behavior ex. compulsive eating, sex, computer addiction etc. Try a free 30 minute coaching session Here's how.

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