Relationship tests for codependency

Relationship tests for codependency help identify the problem so you can do something about it. A codependent relationship is painful. It can be considered emotional abuse.

The first thing in changing dysfunctional behavior is to identify what it is, so to give you an understanding of the patterns and characteristics of codependency. This is the first of 2 relationship tests. This test is from Codependents Anonymous.

Ask yourself these questions:

1) Do you have difficulty identifying what you are feeling?

2) Do you minimize, alter or deny how you truly feel?

3) Do you perceive yourself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of other people?

4) Do you have difficulty making decisions?

5) Do you judge everything you think, say, or do, as never “good enough?”

6) Are you embarrassed to receive recognition, praise or gifts?

7) Do you ask others to meet your needs or desires?

8) Do you value others’ approval of your thinking, feelings and behavior over your own?

9) Do you perceive yourself as a lovable or worthwhile person?

10) Do you say that you’re lovable and worthwhile, but you tell yourself "but not as confident as when I’m with you".

11) Do you compromise your own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others’ anger?

12) Are you very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same?

13) Are you extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long?

14) Do you value others’ opinions and feelings more than your own and are you afraid to express differing opinions and feelings?

15) Do you put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what other people want?

16) Do you accept sex when you want love?

17) Do you believe that most people are incapable of taking care of themselves?

18) Do you attempt to convince others what they “should” think and how they “truly” feel?

19) Do you become resentful when others will not let you help them?

20) Do you offer advice and directions without being asked?

21) Do you lavish gifts and favors on those you care about?

22) Do you use sex to gain approval and acceptance?

23) Do you have to be “needed” in order to have a relationship?

Another one of the relationship tests for codependency is from Mental Health America (MHA). Please note that these symptoms are on a spectrum of intensity and are not all or nothing. Both relationship tests are not clinical tests. They are meant for you to evaluate your behavior. Only a qualified professional, is capable of making an actual diagnosis.

More Relationship tests for codependency

1. Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?

2. Are you always worried about others’ opinions of you?

3. Have you ever lived with someone with an alcohol or drug problem?

4. Have you ever lived with someone who hits or belittles you?

5. Are the opinions of others more important than your own?

6. Do you have difficulty adjusting to changes at work or home?

7. Do you feel rejected when significant others spend time with friends?

8. Do you doubt your ability to be who you want to be?

9. Are you uncomfortable expressing your true feelings to others?

10. Have you ever felt inadequate?

11. Do you feel like a “bad person” when you make a mistake?

12. Do you have difficulty taking compliments or gifts?

13. Do you feel humiliation when your child or spouse makes a mistake?

14. Do you think people in your life would go downhill without your constant efforts?

15. Do you frequently wish someone could help you get things done?

16. Do you have difficulty talking to people in authority, such as the police or your boss?

17. Are you confused about who you are or where you are going with your life?

18. Do you have trouble saying “no” when asked for help?

19. Do you have trouble asking for help?

20. Do you have so many things going at once that you can’t do justice to any of them?

If you identify with a few of these symptoms; are unhappy with yourself or your relationships, you are not in a helpless situation. Help is available from Codependents Anonymous groups, or counseling with an experienced professional to change your way of thinking You can also find help on the web with coaching for codependency in the comfort of your home or office.

Once you’ve completed the relationship tests, get more codependency info

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