Social Networking addiction

“Breathe. Know that the Internet has no eraser.” (Liz Strauss)

Intro

Balance

Denial

Isolation

Break-ups

Procrastination

Stress

Time

Disconnect

Shut Down

Tips

Q &A

Next Month: Technology should simplify our lives, but when one thing becomes simple, something always comes up to complicate it --take Social Networking for example. We can connect with new people and long lost friends, and there’s no better way of staying in touch but then we over do it. According to Time Magazine, students on Facebook have a lower grade point average (GPA) than those in their class who aren’t on it. Facebook , Twitter, MySpace, Linked-In, Digg, the list goes on and on. And with millions of us texting and checking what’s out there-- you guessed it --social networking is now linked as a computer addiction.

That’s the topic for the month of September. Social Networking – the latest Addiction.

Balance: Because we are bombarded with messages, internet addicts are on the web for 40+ hours a week. Whether it’s drugs, food, work, sex, gambling, or social networking, this is compulsive behavior --and we can get hooked on just about anything – But like anything else, networking should be used in moderation.

Denial: “You crazy? I’m not addicted.” Before you do anything about a problem, first you must see that there is one. So if know a computer addict don’t protect them by enabling them

And if you’re being nagged to get off line – listen. If more than one person tells you to stop, perhaps they are right.

Isolation: If you’re ignoring your friends and your family because you’re networking on line. Shut the phone, close the cell and join them. Addicts like to be in their own world.

Break-ups: Beware of stalking friends and former lovers online. This can not only become addictive, but can cause disaster in your personal life. Many relationships have broken up as a result of networking sites.

Procrastination: It’s easy to get involved on the networking sites and ignore what you have to do in the real world. Like all other addictions, your work and family life will be affected.

Stress: Are you stressed if you can’t go online and check your sites. Do you become anxious? Some people become depressed. This is a sure sign of a problem be assured that this has become obsessive behavior.

Prevention: The more social networking sites you’re on the more likely you’ll check them – and if you have an addictive personality

you’re particularly vulnerable to become obsessive.

Time: Set a time during the day to access your e-mail. You can check the sites when you take a break or have little to do.

Disconnect: The more sites you’re on, the more temptation you’ll have to spend time on them. So keep 2 or 3 sites and disconnect from the rest.

Shut Down: When you’re with people focus on what’s going on. If you’re bored or have difficulty talking to others, it’s easy to escape by going online. Don’t do it. You’re not only irritating others, you’re also being rude.

If you think you or someone you know has an Internet addiction here are some tips to stop:

Tips

1) Close browser windows when you’re finished. It prevents distraction.

2) Communicate face-to-face or make phone calls.

3) Track your computer time and log out when the time is up.

4) When you’re not using the computer, shut it down.

5) To avoid distraction, prioritize what has to be done and do it.

6) Set priorities. It’s not important to continuously update your profile etc .

7) Remove cell phone apps for social networking site to prevent temptation

8) Limit membership to no more than 2 or 3 sites.

9) Get involved with real people – exercise. Join clubs, meetings, sports etc

10) No cell in restaurants or when you’re with others. It’s not only irritating, it’s also rude.

Q & A

Q

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we have a 3 year old son. For the past year my boyfriend has been getting drunk 4 or 5 times a week and then he’s nasty to us and sometimes doesn’t even come home.

He lies,and spends all his money of drink and blames me for everything. Finally, I left him. I’m exhausted and can’t take anymore. I work and pay for everything and all he wants to do is spend his money on drink. My problem is that he used to harm himself after binging and I’m afraid he’ll do this again if I’m not around.

Should I go back? Have I done the right thing to leave him?

A

Your boyfriend is mean to you, doesn't come home, is irritable and doesn't contribute financially to the family and only wants to spend his money on drink. In reality, you are living in an abusive relationship and for the sake of your son and your sanity, you did the right thing by leaving. And it may also be a wake-up call for him to change.

If you feel guilty about your decision, Al-anon meetings can be helpful to stay strong. The members provide a good support system when you're under pressure.

Be assured that you've done the right thing. Leaving him was not easy, but it allows you to get your life together and to move on. change your outlook for life. You can also find help with recovery coaching


tips to help you do it.

binges. He doesn't handle tough situations well and needs to have a few drinks before dealing with them.

Lately, he’s made comments, both sober and drunk, that point to the fact that he wants to find other things to do besides drink. I'm not looking to stop him from drinking, but I would like to help him with "other things to do."

How do I approach his drinking problem? I don't want to offend him, because I value his friendship and want to be there for him. I'm worried about insulting him. Should I talk to our friends at work or his girlfriend? I also think I may be enabling him self-test and give it to him.

This test is strictly to open his eyes and break denial. Tell him that since he told you that he'd like to do other things after work and not only drink, you thought he might be interested in it. Once you give him the test say, no more. He has to take the lead.

Should he decide on doing nothing about drinking, his girlfriend would have the most influence on him. The other friends can pressure him after that. The more people who are on his case the better. Eventually, he may realize that if everyone says he has a problem, he probably does.

Bev

Have a question? Just ask and post. Your questions help others and you can comment and add suggestions as well.

What’s New On The Site

I've received many questions on codependency this month and most wanted to know if they're in a codependent relationship. New self-tests for codependency has been posted. Try the codependency tests for yourself.

You will also notice words that are underlined in green. These are ad links, based on the underlined word. By clicking on the links, you're not only contributing to the site, but they can be helpful if you're looking for something in particular. And your can also, ignore them.

Next Month

Summer holidays!! No newsletter in August, but come September, ‘Social Networking’. How long do you spend on Facebook and Twitter? More than an hour a day? Social networking has become a new obsessive behavior. Your comments and stories are welcome. Stay in touch.

Wishing you all a great summer !!

Bev

If you or someone you know needs help, you can get it on the web or by phone.

For all impulse control behaviors ex. compulsive eating, sex, computer addiction etc. Try a free 30 minute coaching session Here's how.

If you know someone who would appreciate this newsletter, please do both of us a favor and pass it on.

If a friend forwarded this newsletter to you and you like what you read, please subscribe