About Addiction to Alcohol

by Margaret
(Winderemere Fla)

How do I help my boyfriend? He used to drink every day with his previous girlfriend and his life was miserable with her. When we started dating, I told him that I don't like to be with anyone who drinks or smokes too much -- and he agreed to use moderation.

I have grown to love him, but when he drinks, he doesn't stop. He tells me that he loves me so much that he will quit with willpower but he needs my help.

He does not drink around me and stays sober at least 4 day a week when I am around. He wants me to be with him all the time to keep him sober (which is impossible because I have other responsibilities. I don't know what to do. How to help him in a better way?


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It's possible for an alcoholic to stop drinking 'cold turkey', but he's been drinking when you're not around, so he obviously can't do it.

As much as he'd like you to help him stop, it won't work. It will only affect your relationship, because you'll nag him, or check on him and he'll be angry and start hiding alcohol etc.

Your boyfriend must handle his own sobriety, but he needs a support system. That's one of the reasons AA is effective. Not only is there support from the members, but he can get a sponsor when he has the cravings to drink. He'll also be able to work the 12 steps, which is the psychological part of the program. I suggest that he goes to meetings, or gets addiction counseling.

As much as you want to help him, no one can stop an alcoholic from drinking. He has to do this himself.

Tell him that you support his good intentions, but point him in the right direction to get help.