Am I Codependent?

by James
(Toronto, Canada)

I’m a 38 years old man and I have been going out with a woman for 16 months. She means a lot to me. I don’t remember feeling like this with anyone else before.

I look forward to hearing from her. I find myself anticipating, waiting for her to call or even text me. I don’t know what has happened to me.

I feel that she is a breath of fresh air. Quite often, I go by unexpectedly at her work or her home. She is probably my first real relationship and I am committed to her.

Am I codependent?

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Codependency is a ‘dysfunctional relationship’. A codependent has a tendency to ‘love’ people that they can pity and rescue. They do more than their share for the other person in the relationship and becomes hurt when it’s not recognized. There is poor communication, lying and chronic anger. They fear abandonment and will stay in the this relationship, regardless how dysfunctional it is, rather than being alone. This doesn’t sound like what’s going on with you.

It sounds like you’re in love with this person, and if she loves you as well, you are not in a codependent relationship. Enjoy it!


Bev