Cheating With A Married Man

by Joe Lesky
(New Zealand)

I have been in a relatively new relationship with a women who is very kind, intelligent and caring.

She recently told me that she was in a relationship with a married doctor for about three years and even went to see him in another city a couple of months to have sex etc. before meeting me.

He would call her early in our relationship, but eventually she told me that she blew him off by telling him that she is in a new relationship with me.

I was playing with her I-Phone recently to check out the applications on it. She put a password on the phone, I guess so I could not access the phone. I guess she has a right to privacy, but I feel like she is hiding something.

She is going back to her home country in a couple of weeks for work. She has indicated in the past that she has at times met this married doctor back in her home country for sexual liaisons.

They both met there originally, because that is where they both came from. She has recently started exercising intensely in order to look good for when she goes back for work and to catch up with family.

I am finding it hard to trust a women who would be in a relationship with a married man. One of the most hateful things to do to someone is cheat on their partner and she was part of this process.

How does the wife feel? As far as I know she found out but stayed with this man despite this. My girlfriend says that this married doctor regularly sleeps around with nurses etc.

She is really kind and loving around me most of the time, but sometimes keeps me at a distance and has been reluctant for me to move in with her. I guess it is still early, but sometimes I wonder about trust.

Should I trust her? How do I develop this trust when I have been cheated on the past?


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It takes time to build trust in any relationship, particularly if you’ve been cheated on in the past.

If your girlfriend is not trustworthy you’ll eventually know, but this is a slow process. This is a new relationship and if you think she’s is worth it, you have to allow plenty of time to develop trust.

However, if you keep obsessing about her affair and can’t get past it, you have no choice, you’ll have to find someone without a history of cheating.