Concern About Grandchildren

by Nona
(Texas)

My husband and I currently live in the same small neighborhood with my grown daughter, her son and my son, his wife and 2 little girls.

My son, daughter-in-law and daughter, all have issues with alcohol. My son was sober for 10 yrs. His wife continued to drink and he eventually relapsed. My daughter’s drinking has gone from occasionally drinking too much, to drinking too much all the time --to the point of being a sloppy drunk. They all function fairly well, having good jobs and make good money.

My concern is with the grandkids (not that I don't care about my kids, but I’m exhausted. The little ones are a priority. My son and his wife keep their drinking to the weekends and try not to drink in front of the kids. My daughter is a mess right now. She gets drunk in front of my grandson, .etc..etc...

My husband wants to move to another neighborhood that’s close by...just so we can have some breathing room. He worries about my state of mind because, I worry a lot. My concern is leaving my grandkids particularly my grandson who is very vulnerable. He only has his mom and she is not well, and she’s getting worse. I know I’m probably enabling, but I don't want my grandson to suffer. We are a source of security and stability because we are 2 doors down. He is 8 yrs old. Thanks for any input. Nonna


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You are spending much time and emotional energy taking care of the grandchildren, but unless your children do something about handling their issues their children will continue to suffer. Moving away will probably make it more difficult for the grandchildren, because it’s convenient to have you near them. However, if you move away, you can still babysit, have the children sleep at your house, take them for the weekend and still be a strong influence on their lives.

Your husband is concerned about your anxiety, but there is no assurance that you won’t continue to worry about the situation in another town.