Drinking husband

by Missy
(Grantville, KS)

I am an alcoholic and I’ve been trying to stop binge drinking for 15 years.

My husband is also an alcoholic, but he won’t stop. He hides beer all over our house and barn. He doesn't think he has a problem and tells me that he hides his beer so that I’m not tempted.

I tell him not to because I can find it anytime is hard on me, but he doesn't stop. What should I do?


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You’re in a difficult situation. Both you and you’re husband are alcoholics and although you’re not in denial your husband is -- and he’s not ready to change.

Usually when an alcoholic tries to stop drinking, other drinkers consciously or unconsciously prefer that they don’t, because there’s a relationship based on drink. By hiding bottles everywhere, he’s also sabotaging your attempts at sobriety. It will be difficult but not impossible for you to get the help you need.

Go to AA meetings in your area. Make a commitment to yourself and pick up a beginners chip. Develop friends with the members and when you feel comfortable disclose your situation. You should also get a sponsor. This is a person to reach out to whenever the going gets tough. The sponsor will help you through the rough spots.

In AA language, you have to ‘take care of number one’ meaning that your sobriety comes first. Your husband will probably try to sabotage you from attending meetings as well, but stand firm.

You cannot get an alcoholic to change unless he or she wants to, but you can do what it takes to change yourself. Hopefully, when he sees you’re sober, it will give him the motivation to change as well, but don’t wait for that to happen. With him or without him, do whatever it takes to live a healthy, productive life.

All the best,

Bev