Gambling to Make Money
(Denver, CO USA)
I am 30 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend keeps going to the casino to "make money for the baby".
He goes up at noon one day and doesn’t come back until after midnight the next day. The entire time, I am completely stressed out because he won’t talk to me and I feel like he is losing everything he has...I work everyday, but I cannot afford to support all 3 of us on my salary.
He says I am being clingy when I get upset because I haven’t seen him in 2 full days and a night. (especially on holidays) When he eventually does come home his mood is dependent on if he made any money...then he is happy obviously...but then it provokes him to go again the next day and lose. If he loses, he is in an awful mood and takes it out on me. Also because he hasn’t slept in days, he is tired and grumpy and takes that out on me as well.
I don’t feel like I need the stress of this on top of my pregnancy. I need help figuring out how to talk to him about this without him becoming defensive. He insists that he does not have a gambling problem, because most of the time he wins.
Please I need some sort of help before I have this baby. I have to figure out how to work 2 full time jobs plus watch her. I also need to know what I can do in order to get custody of her, if his behavior does not change.
You seem like a very capable woman. You work every day and support the two of you. However, you’re supporting a gambler and this man defends his gambling, and has no intention of changing. You cannot stop him, but you can stop the way you’re dealing with him.
There’s no easy way to talk to him, because anything you say about his behavior will cause friction. You need legal advice regarding the custody of your unborn child.
You have to give your boyfriend an ultimatum. “either he stops gambling and gets a ‘real job’ or he’s history”. If he doesn’t change his behavior, you have no choice. For your piece of mind, as well as your wallet, you have to leave.