Is my boyfriend an alcoholic?

by Anonymous

My boyfriend and I separated about three months ago because of some issues we were having, including his drinking habits.

I've already divorced an alcoholic and I've had to take care of alcoholics in my family, so I'm well aware of the chaos that alcoholism can bring into a home. My boyfriend is a beer-drinker, who drinks at minimum of two 16oz cans a day, often four cans, and many times, an entire six pack.

Before our separation, we were together everyday for 16 months. I've never seen him drinking less than one 16 oz beer a day and when he drinks only one, it's the exception. I've tried my best to talk to him about this and he bristles -- telling me, he will not accept me telling him what to do.

I want to reconcile with this man, but before I do, I've asked him to abstain from drinking for awhile to see if he can. Since we've been separated, he has occasionally been verbally abusive over the phone, when he's been drinking. Do you think he is an alcoholic?


If your boyfriend drinks a minimum of 16oz of beer a day and many times and entire six pack, it's sounds like he has a problem.

What's worse is that when you tell him about it, he doesn't want to hear it. You separated and his drinking habits were one of the reasons that you left -- and still he refuses to change.

Your boyfriend is in denial that alcohol makes him abusive and has caused problems in the relationship. But, he doesn't intend to stop. He has chosen a relationship with beer over a real one one with you.

Unless he changes his behavior by going to AA or getting other help, don't consider reconciling with him.

There is give and take in a good relationship, but an alcoholic wants it only one way -- his. You've lived too long in alcoholic environments. Unless you see that he's made changes in his drinking behavior, use this separation as an opportunity to move on.


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