My Husband is an Alcoholic.

by Amy
(NC)

My husband drinks everyday and when he grew up, both his parents were drunk almost daily.

I do not want our kids to grow up in the same kind of household. What do I say to him to get him to stop drinking? He is NOT going to go to AA meetings and I am not able to go either.

I’ve been reading that I am responsible for his behavior and this makes me upset. I do not drink! I do not buy alcohol. The only thing I do is drive my drunk husband home. Should I make him walk? I don't let him drink and drive. What can I say to him without causing an argument? Help! Please.

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I don’t know what you’ve been reading, but be assured, that only your husband is responsible for drinking – not you. Your only responsibility is not to enable him. (there are more pages on enabling on this site) When you enable an alcoholic, you’re helping him/her to stay in denial. He has to suffer the consequences of his behavior or he won’t change.

It would be best not to drive your husband home, because he's relying on you to take him home when he's drunk. If he’s within walking distance, he can walk, otherwise, he can take a cab.

You will have an argument however, but don’t give in to it. By being nasty, he gets his way. But it takes two to argue -- so stay calm and be firm. Tell your husband that he’s not one of the kids. If he has problems getting home, he should not get so drunk.

Whether he goes to AA or not, go to Al-anon meetings for yourself. These meetings are for family members of alcoholic/addicts and you’ll not only get support, but you’ll also receive information and suggestions on what others have done in similar situations.

I hope this is helpful.

Bev