A sweet and smart chunky girl

by Nera
(Los Angeles )

I am 28yrs old I am an illegal immigrant in the US. I moved here 8 years ago, with the hope of freedom from my macho family. I wanted to prove to them that I was able to live just fine with out them and their ideas.

Because I was free, I started going out and met new friends. I never used to drink because I am a responsible and a good girl. One Christmas an uncle offered me drugs and I refused, and was so proud. I never wanted to do drugs.

Then I started having boyfriends and it was so easy for me to be codependent because I’m alone.

I couldn't afford things, so I would to go to the store and shoplift small stuff like earring and rings and maybe a blouse, but that was all!!!

I stared dating a guy and then I found out he cheated on me and he started to be abusive. I tried everything to save our relationship, but it didn't work. I spent 4years of my life with him.

Soon after I started dating the most kind man in the wide world. I love him so much and he is US citizen. But I had not seen my mom for 5 years so I decided to go back to Mexico. I was nervous that if I go I would not be able to get back to the US but my uncle’s daughter told my mom that she would sell me her ID for $3000 and I gave her the money, got a passport and got back.

Her daughters use drugs. They were so nice and slim and they were using speed, not just marijuana. I have been chunky all my life. I tried everything, but nothing worked. I was still chunky, so I started using speed and it’s been 2 years and I am a lot thinner.

I thought I looked beautiful and I thought my drug problem was under control, until I lost my job. Then I started using double the speed all through the day and now I want to do things right. I want to stop using speed and find my way out of this illegal status. I feel so lost. My bf doesn’t know I do speed and he wants to marry me, but I am so deep in this hole, between my legal status and being jobless.

Every time I say that I’ll quit, something happens and I can’t quit. It’s crossed my mind to be an escort because of the money. I know it’s, not me, it’s the influence of the drug, that makes me think of this stuff. I feel like showing up at the police station and telling them my story and going to jail and stop worrying about everything as well as get ting deeper into addiction.

I am not a bad person and I don’t want to put my bf in trouble like this. He is a great man and a great person. Please help.

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Apr 07, 2012
by: Anonymous


Apr 07, 2012
You far from been a good person.
by: Anonymous

A good person is a law abiding citizen, he/she does not live in a country illegaly, take drugs, use illegal methods to travel. Your Lying to your partner knowingly how this could shock and hurt him ( I hope he never trusts you again and kicks you ass back to where it belong)... You are living a lie everyday of your life and whats worse, the good man your with could be up for a very disappointing surprise once your illegal secret is found out. Not to mention the use of illegal drugs. Your not a good person, far from it. Did you expect sympathy for your story? You wont get it. You know exactly what you are doing and have no consiouns how this will effect the man that loves you once your ugly secret in known. The only person your worried about is yourself, what will happen to "you" when you get exposed...

Apr 05, 2012
You might think your a good girl???
by: Anonymous

Look here, even the nicest person on earth can turn out to be the worst! I'll tell you how: Sometimes you could be sailing through life a responsible good clean person, then all of a sudden something terrible happens which forces you to take the wrong path in life until you either fall deep in shit or something really good happenes that sets you straight again. Imagine been an A class citizen, no convictions or any wrong doing. Then one day you lose your house and your out on the street with your little kids and they are starving, you have no money so you go to steal food... Thats not who you are but life has forced you to do that. The truth is you dont really know youeself very well or how far your capable of going to get what you want, You wont care who you hurt as long as it favours you in the end. Your Human!

Dec 29, 2010
Marry the Guy
by: Gene

I don't understand.

If your bf is such a great guy and wants to marry you, why don't you marry him?
You say he's legal. Wouldn't that make you legal too?

Dec 29, 2010
Sweet maybe but not so smart
by: Mallah

You've gotten yourself into a mess and that's not so smart, but you can get out of it without turning yourself in to the police.

First, you're addicted to speed. Go to NA and get a sponsor. No one will ask you if you're illegal. No one cares. You're an addict. Get off the drugs and then hopefully you'll be able to think straight and put your life back together.

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