Addicted, help me get my life back

by Joe
(Quebec)

Hi, I'm Joe

I have a 4 month old baby, I love him...
My girlfriend, her name is Kat...
She decided she was tired of me not going forward in life and she left to live at her mom's...
So I decided it was best we "separate"...
I don’t know what got into me...
I have decided for now, to pay child support so my kid can eat, and have toys...
I get to see my child every week for 3 days...
My ex say's I must change my ways if we have a chance of getting back together...

I am addicted to alcohol, marijuana, cigarettes, computer...
I spend money for beer and joints anytime I can (I can often)...
I smoke a half a pack daily. I used to smoke 1 1/2 packs a day….
I play computer games a lot -- when I say a lot, I mean at least 6 hours a day...

I need some help...
I love Kat. I love my son...
I do not want to loose them, please help...
I need a way to stop drinking and smoking ASAP...
I have tried on my own and I always fall back in the same pattern...
I love her. I love my son. If I don’t change my ways, I will loose what is dearest to me, then my life...

Thank you for reading,,,


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Apr 05, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		Hi Joe
by: Rita Y

Hey Joe, You seem like a really nice guy, just having some difficulties with priority & addiction. You have taken the first & most important step --admitting you have an addiction.
Man, look at what you have-- a good partner, a beautiful son, a job, but you obviously don’t have a clear direction on how to hold on to those important people in you life.

Instead of sitting on the computer for 6 hrs, take your family to a nice quite park for a picnic. Start slowly, your partner only needs to see a little improvement in you which will be the start to a better and healthier life for all.

Cut down on everything else and spend more time organizing outings. Take a camera with you everywhere you guys go, so you can snap some fun memories to see and talk about. No one can expect you to drop your habits at a drop of a dime, but instead of making time for those habits, make that time for your family.

I’m sure your GF will give you her full support once she starts to see a little improvement. It does get boring for a partner to sit there alone while her other half is occupied with something worthless.
Good luck...
Mar 29, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		You CAN get your life back!
by: Jo

Joe,
I know it must seem impossible, right now, but trust me...you CAN do this.
I am not saying it will be easy, and all of your addictions are pretty legal, so face it Buddy, the temptation will always be there, and be around you.
You have to decide to change the way you react to them.
Take the computer, or the games you play...you have to make them very specific points in your life.
I guess what I am trying to say is this:
Prioritize!
if your son, and your girlfriend are THE most important things, you have to make them just that in your day.
Plan each day...like it is your whole life....
Because days make weeks, make months, and YEARS!
A.A. Helps a lot of people....especially in the beginning, when you need some coping tools.
it is at times like having a little war in your own head, these addictions....
You will have so much more of yourself to give to the ones you love....
And it won't be a diluted self.
Every drink, joint, hour spent in a trance playing video games...is an hour you are not really present in your life.
I know you can do it Joe, take it one step at a time...
You have already taken a pretty good inventory of yourself...
Now
You need to put a plan together, and take the steps to implement it.
Have you ever tried counseling?
There is something very freeing about telling a total stranger what is going on, and getting their expert advice/feedback.

I wish you all the luck in the world with this stuff....And I hope you can be a great father to your son.
Good Luck, and let me hear how you are doing Jo.
Dec 19, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		You Can Get Help
by: Betty

Go to AA. Go every day if you have to. You can change your life and get off alcohol and drugs

You are throwing your life away. I know, I've been there.

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