Am I An Alcoholic?

by Mary
(Ireland)



I go out about twice a month drinking. I drink about seven or eight vodka and cokes, making sure to get as much drink as possible before the bar closes. I then go home, sometimes taking random people with me. I have had some sexual encounters and made some stupid choices when drinking. I joke with people, that I am a night owl as an excuse to keep drinking -- sometimes to 9 the next morning. I have started worrying about the hangover before I even touch a drop, sometimes to the detriment of having a good time.

It is strange that I choose to drink despite this obsessive worry. I try to sleep, but can't after a session of drinking. I feel ashamed, guilty and sluttish -- worthless and suicidal the day after drinking and feel very alone. I have started making myself sick the next morning, and cry and just feel like dying.

This morning, I got so scared to go to sleep upstairs, in case I would inadvertently throw myself out the window in my sleep. I don't want to talk to anyone, not family or friends after a night out. I isolate myself and feel like other people are living out there, in the normal world and I am living on a different planet.

I woke up today thinking and admitting to myself, I have a problem. I feel utterly depressed. When I look back at my life I have been, an extremely heavy drinker. I continually use the excuse that I don't drink as much, as I used to and therefore have this under control.

I used to drink at college to block a social anxiety disorder. I drank 2 bottles of wine a night -- nearly every night. I thought that since I only go out only a few nights a month, I was in control of alcohol. I think I may be able to go off it and felt empowered this morning when I said to my friend "I have had enough. This alcohol has become a problem and I can't cope with life much longer if I keep drinking." I cannot honestly say whether I would find it difficult to stop drinking completely.

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Apr 04, 2012
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I hope this makes you feel better
by: Rita Y

Hi there,

You know and understand that alcohol is bringing you down, depression is the worst feeling and it's major contributor is alcohol and drugs. So try to avoid alcohol for a few months and see how your well-being is.

If you feel down a little, it's because you've spoiled your body and its having a little tantrum. Don't give in, hang in there.. if you still feel low, surround yourself with your family and friends to build yourself up through their unconditional love.

Maybe go to the movies instead of a bar. Have girls night in, do facials, do special things for yourself. Just don't bring yourself down to that level alcohol takes you. You're strong enough to go though it. Now, strengthen up to get out of it. All the best to you.

Jan 02, 2012
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I think you know the answer
by: Anonymous

No one can really answer your question but you. However, I have been taught "if you think you may have a drinking problem, you probably do".

It's not so much the amount or how often, but what happens when you drink. Sounds like you have negative things happen when you drink.

Some simple things to try: stop drinking. Can you do that without trouble, and without thinking about it? Also, try to control it - can you just have a drink and stop?

If not, go to an AA meeting -- just to listen. You don't need to talk, give your name, anything. Just listen and see if you hear anything that makes sense.

You sound like you drink like I used to for 25 years. I am now sober 3 years. Wish I asked the same question you did 20 years ago and that someone told me what I just wrote. But its never too late. Sobriety is a good thing.

Good luck!

Oct 28, 2011
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Addiction is ruling you
by: lori

You can be proud of yourself for reaching out and admitting to yourself that change is needed, because what you are doing now is not working!

You are on the right path by understanding that you must give up the alcohol. So empower yourself with knowledge and learn about the power of addiction, so that you do not let it take control of your decisions. Addiction will pull you towards what is bad for you, but your brain and instincts will tell you what you need to do!

Trust yourself to do what is right for you and you will begin to see things clearer and the right choices will become easier! Don't defeat yourself by not believing that you are strong enough to do what is best for your own well- being!

It's a lot of work but so worth it!

Apr 17, 2011
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Yes, You're An Alcoholic
by: Sandra

You are definitely an alcoholic, and you are a binge drinker. I know, because I am one too. You may not be drinking every day, but when you do you lose it. I've been going to AA meetings and have been clean for the last 5 years. You can't do it yourself. I hope you go to AA too.

Things are not great in my life, but at least I'm not drinking and I'm not depressed any more.

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