Changing Enabling Behavior

Here's how to Help - Not Enable

Changing enabling behavior makes a difference, because once you change the way you behave, others have to change as well. So if you’ve been enabling an addict, your children, your partner or friend, it’s important to recognize it and change.

Changing any behavior takes time. You’re triggered to respond automatically and ‘fix it’. So catch yourself when you go into ‘fix it’ mode.

Changing Enabling Behavior Tips

2. Do not make excuses for others due to their lack of responsibility.

3. Don’t argue or comply demands to do what you don’t want to do

4. Do not clean up after them – even a substance abuser should see what he/she has done and be responsible for it

5. Be accountable for your bills only. If you’re not responsible, don’t pay anyone else.

6. Do not give or lend money to use or cover up a negative behavior

7. Stand up for your self, but be assertive, not aggressive. Don’t say anything that you’ll regret at a later date

8. Don’t rescue, pay for lawyers fees or pay bail money. If you feel you must, make sure there are consequences

9. Stop fixing others, focus on working on yourself.

10. Don’t keep the problem a secret. Get support of friends, family members, get private counseling or coaching join Al-Anon or other 12 step program and work the steps to help you change.

You will not only be stronger, but you’ll be more effective helping others. How to help is not by enabling.

It’s by changing your enabling behavior that you can get the results you want.

If you or someone you know has an addictive personality you can be more prone to developing an addiction.

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