How To Accept A Relationship Is Over!!

by Anonymous

I was in a long-term relationship and I'm having a hard time accepting that it's over.

My family and close friends tell me she wasn't the "one" and that I'm doing the right thing by moving on, but I always play the "yes, but you don't know her like I do" game with them.

We argued a lot and her drinking was a problem, but when things were good they were really good. We have great sexual chemistry and I believe this might be playing a part in me having a tough time. When I calm down, I know she isn't the lady for me but I'm truly afraid of the future.

I think it's more me being scared of the unknown and wondering if I'll ever find the right one. I'm 41 years old and just want to be married and happy, but my inability to accept that the relationship is over is not allowing me to move on.

I need help with acceptance. I know it will "set me free"!

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Jul 28, 2017
Time to learn how to let go NEW
by: Anonymous

It's hard. Very hard. I currently live with someone who used to be my partner and been together 4 years. He never cared to change his filthy habits that would constantly hurt me and take chunks out of our relationship. Many years I realised that he doesn't want to change for me and that I've been sacrificing my time, energy and finances just to keep things good with him. But found over time he didn't really appreciate everything was only in the relationship for his own benefit, never actually gave anything to the relationship. Now I'm stuck in a lease with a guy who has taken me for a ride for too long and emotionally it's hard because over time through the makeups and breakups, you've been conditioned to go back to him and try to work things out. This time he's thrown in the towel and said he doesn't want to listen to anything I say and that he doesn't care if he hurts me in anyway because everyday he says HES IN PAIN. What a way to pass on the blame for his own issues hey? It's hard but u gotta keep your respect and not give another minute to someone like this. They're time wasters and narcissists. They take all u have and spit u out like u ain't mean nothing. Move on and never look back.

Jul 23, 2017
Im hurting too NEW
by: Natalie

I found this page because i am in the beggining of the end of my relationship...we have not been happy but for a day here and there...we seem to be too damaged by his drinking and I had an affair...I dont know why its so painful to move on considering what its like holding on..all I can say is im 44 years old and should know what works and what dont...hoping we can untangle our lives quickly and as pain free as possible

Feb 05, 2017
Going through it NEW
by: Anonymous

I was with someone a long time. He would never let his wall down. He could only give me so much and I knew that fairly early on. But I kept hoping he would feel the way I felt. It was never going to happen. When I finally accepted it, I was done. I love him and he seems like he could care less. If he does care, he will never tell me. He seems fine with letting go. I can't believe I have given so much of myself to someone who can let go so easily. But we can't make someone give a darn about us. And we have to remember that we don't need to keep giving to someone who doesn't deserve it. We deserve better. We deserve to be happy. It still hurts but I'm better off being alone than allowing someone who takes advantage of me. I have to remember this will make me stronger for next time and to learn from it.

Apr 28, 2015
Still struggling NEW
by: Red14

Hi all

I found the posts very interesting and relevant to my current plight.

I am having a tough time coming to terms with the end of a relationship. It ended 6 months ago (just had the 6 month anniversary! how bizarre) and I am wondering if that is why it feels so tough all over again. I felt I was making steady progress and moving on - I've done all the positive stuff, re-connected with friends, improved my social life, started dating again and carried out some work on the house.

Yet it seems as bad as ever. I bumped into my ex 2 weeks ago and I think that is the current issue. He was quite detached and seems to have moved on, I even suspect he is dating again which I am finding incredibly tough - hypocritical I know as I did this some time ago.

It was my decision initially to end the relationship as things hadn't been right for quite some time, however I have had lots of reservations since and still feel in turmoil! Help!!

Oct 06, 2012
Same! HELP!
by: Nikki

I'm going through a breakup as well. It's not "official" yet but I sense it coming, We have been on the edge for a few months now. I guess every time I think it's over it's not but this time it feels like it is.

I feel emotionally numb like I'm watching myself in some silent black and white film. I'm very dramatic when breakups occur, even if it is for the best. I even have suicidal ideations. I need help but I don't have the money right now to pay for therapy. I hope that someone will help me and tell me it will be ok or give me readings of inspiration. I'm desperate. HELP

Apr 04, 2012
It gets better
by: Rita Y

Hey My friend,

The hardest feeling in the world is letting go of
someone you know so deeply and intimately. The only surety I can give you is: we all love the same, we make love to show our deepest feelings, we kiss anywhere and everywhere to show we care plus so much more. It wont be any different once you've found somebody new. Its in us. Right now, if you truly want to let her go, you need to allow yourself to feel the hurt that comes with loss, otherwise you never loved if you didnt feel this pain. You either stick it out and make it work or let go and feel the intensity of a broken heart, it gets better once you've made the final desicion and stick to it. At the end of the day, you cant escape what it brings, you need to face it.
Who knows, you might meet the right one now, get married & live happily ever after, or you could face many more disappointments like this. This is why its wise to know from the start about the person your about to ask out would be good or bad for you in the long run??

Good luck, all the best to you...

Jul 29, 2011
Need help to accept a break up
by: Janeli

At the moment i am going through a "time apart" with my girlfriend. At first I couldn't believe it, it hurt so much I felt my life had come to an end; the tears came nonstop but I have realized its truly over. Especially that I stock her too over Facebook and saw she changed her status to "single" it made me go crazy, I couldn't help or want to accept its over. Can someone please help me and show me some great past time hobbies? She says it was my fault for being so childish but I couldn't chance my ways. If it was up to me I would still be with her. I wish everyone the best of luck because this is only the beginning of something great.

May 17, 2011
re How to accept a relationship is over.
by: Megan

Hi there I have been in a relationship for 19yrs with someone that lead a double life and now we have split up at first it was very hard for me to cope with and i am in the middle of decorating my house which i will have to sell. I am still in contact with him at the moment cos there are still some jobs he has to do on the house. He is very cruel and nasty towards me and this hurts me allot because i really did love him, but when it hurts i have to remind myself that there where more bad times than good. I know what your going through and how much it hurts but once you get through the pain of your breakup i know it will get better. No i'm not there yet or i still wouldn't be hurting so much but i am determined to consciously be aware of what was really going on in my relationship. When we love somebody we sometimes make excuses for their bad behaviour and if we continue to do this we get stuck in relationships that are'nt necessarily good good for us. We to had a good sex life and i know how much it hurts when you long for the intimate connection you miss so much but sex is supposed to be a celebration of two peoples love for each other not the only thing that holds a relationship together. I'm sure if you can find the courage to get through this negative time in your life something better will eventually come up it just doesn't feel that way at the moment. After you have moved on and find the right person that was meant to be in your life (and you will) you will probably look back and laugh and wonder why you didn't get on with your own life sooner. It's about YOU now nobody else fill your life with things that you like to do for yourself and when you your head starts reminding you about how much you miss her make a concsious shift and move on. Real love is more than just sex its about respecting each other and caring and giving. Real love unites it is never one sided. Good Luck. Its time to love yourself now. :)

May 14, 2011
So Painful
by: Charleen

I've been there and still not over her, but although it's getting better, it's still painful.

I'm talking to a therapist and I trying to keep busy. I've gotten a job in another city, but I was stocking her on Facebook which made me even more upset, because she has such a happy life and I'm miserable.

It was really bad in the beginning and my family and friends were concerned for me, but as my life goes forward I'm feeling that my life is not hopeless.

Don't look back, it will only drag you down.
All the best to you.

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