I'm A Food Addict -- I Confess!!

by Helen
(Davis, CA)

I turn 20 in 12 days. I wish I could turn back the clock -- hit the restart button on my life.

I never wanted it to be like this, sitting in my apartment on a Friday night anonymously confessing my addiction to food. I've tried to hide this for years, but I can’t hold it in any longer: I am addicted to food.

I can’t remember the last time I truly loved myself. I used to have something I called a "hate journal." It was a diary, but every entry was about how much I hated myself and how disgusting I was.

I threw it away recently, thinking that things would get better and that I could finally fix things once and for all. Needless to say I was wrong.

Here I am, about to become an adult, and I still hate myself. I have been so obsessed with self-hatred that I haven't bothered to figure out who I am as a person. I don't think I want to get to know who I am as a person, if I can’t be that "ideal thin" person I so yearn to be.

I don't know what to do anymore. The one thing I want so bad in life, I can’t achieve because of my compulsive overeating. Where do I go from here!!!

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Apr 04, 2012
Hey Sweetie
by: Rita Y

Sweetie, your an Angel..
Angels love food so love yourself...

The truth is your only 20 ok, you are still growing and changing, believe me.
When I was 20, I hated myself for been overweight, but as I got a bit older, I realized life changes these our pathes. At anyday something or someone will come your way & change everything about your everyday life/habbit. Your life is not going to remain as it is now. You need to get outside your apartment, take a deep breath and close your eyes, feel life, your alive, you can do and change everything and anything about yourself, because you are your own best friend. Start taking long walks everyday, that way your not in the apartment & close to food. You'll also burn off what you eat so you dont fell so guilty. Buy some carrots & celery sticks to munch on when bored. Also, I want you to know this, as you get a little older and wiser, you wont give a s**t what people think, we are all just passing by on this earth, were all made of skin & bones, just some look better than others.Big deal! what your worried about now will seem laughable later. So go enjoy your life & yourself by doing things for yourself, wherever you are, go enjoy the sightseens in your country & stop focusing so much on your looks. Dont even look at those people who think they're better than everyone else, at the end its only the beauty of your soul that gets you through to heaven, and that's what you have, a beautiful soul

Nov 19, 2011
I so get it!
by: Jan

I can really relate what you're going through, because I could have written your story myself.

I hate myself. I hate what I do. I hate my life but I'm working on this. I'm 40 years old and you're only 20.

Find a counselor to help you. It's hard to turn your life around, but I'm trying and I fail many times, but I'm going to keep at it.

Don't wait as long as I have to get help.

My heart goes out to you.

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