I'm Codependent --It's Driving Me Crazy!!

by Cheri
(Memphis, TN)

My girlfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, and living together for a year.

She has PMDD and OCD and I am codependent. I spend a majority of our relationship unhappy, but when I think I've had enough and prepare myself to move on we fight and she changes for the better for a couple of days.

She criticizes the way I dress, the fact that I'm nice to everyone, the fact that I'm social, and just about everything I do. She doesn't help with anything around the house except taking out the trash, she only pays a fourth of all the bills, but wants a nicer place and blows her money on wants not needs.

She doesn't like to talk and says when we were first together the only reason we talked a lot was because she said she knew it's what I wanted. We don't have a physical relationship and when I try she says I'm obsessed with sex.

I'm going crazy. Why can't I leave?


You answered your own question. The reason you don’t leave is that you’re codependent.

Your girlfriend obviously doesn’t want you to leave, because of all you do for her. You are in an abusive relationship and it’s not easy to get out of it.

There are codependency groups that can help you. Self esteem groups and private counseling can also be beneficial.

When she is nice, you become hopeful that the relationship will change, this is just a tactic to prevent you from leaving. This can go on and on unless one of you gets the confidence to move on – and even then, it can be so painful, you can get back together and the relationship goes back to the way it was.

No one is entitled to take advantage of you. I hope you get the help you need.

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