A Codependent Relationship & Communication
In a codependent relationship there is unhealthy communication because good communication skills require assertiveness. You have to include your partner by listening to what the other person says, as well as empathizing with how they feel. Unlike a codependent relationship, you don’t feel threatened and you don’t have to give in and agree at all times. Sometimes you may compromise, however, in a
you feel comfortable enough to express your opinions, as well as take responsibility for saying it.
Good communication requires:
Saying how you feel (“I” messages)
Consideration and understanding
How we communicate is developed in childhood. If you were encouraged to say how you feel and express your likes and dislikes appropriately, this will carry into adulthood. However, if you’re a child of an alcoholic, or came from a dysfunctional family you’ve developed unhealthy tactics to survive.
You may lie or manipulate to get your needs met. You may become a ‘people pleaser’ hoping that if you’re ‘nice’ you will be rewarded, by getting what you want. You may have bursts of anger or shut down. These styles become automatic and are difficult to change, but through
you learn a
new way of thinking
which leads to new behavior and undoing
the unhealthy thinking
These are unhealthy manipulative behaviors:
Being “nice” and holding resentment
Being dismissive “who cares”
Being negative and depressed
Unhealthy patterns of communication can damage any relationship and if you continue this behavior you can develop:
unhealthy relationships as well as
Basically, when you don’t have good communication you’re unhappy and this diminishes your self esteem and prevents healthy emotional growth.
If you have a question or need advice?
Just ask. Your question will help others as well
If you feel that you have unhealthy ways of communicating or
Not sure if you're codependent?
Try these tests
and it's very common that if you've come from or you're in a
you can easily find yourself enabling others, or in a codependent relationship.
You can get help with self-help groups, counseling and coaching -- which is available when it's convenient for you -- on the web, or by phone. Coaching is an effective way of accomplishing positive changes and you can try
a free ½ hr. session to see if it’s for you.
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From Codepemdent Relationship to Stop Being Addicted